MisFiT City Forum
MisFiT Discussions => MisFiT Humor Room => Topic started by: misfitguy on January 24, 2008, 02:50:23 PM
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When insults had class!
These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, 'If you were my husband I'd give you poison,' and He said, 'If you were my wife, I'd drink it.'
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.'
'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'
'He had delusions of adequacy.'
~ Walter Kerr
'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.'
~ Winston Churchill
'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.'
~ Winston Churchill
'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.'
~ Clarence Darrow
'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.'
~ William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?'
~ Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.'
~ Moses Hadas
'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.'
~ Abraham Lincoln
'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.'
~ Mark Twain
'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.'
~ Oscar Wilde
'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one.'
~ George Bernard Shaw, to Winston Churchill
'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.'
~ Winston Churchill, in response
'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.'
~ Stephen Bishop
'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.'
~ John Bright
'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.'
~ Irvin S. Cobb
'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.'
~ Samuel Johnson
'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.'
~ Paul Keating
'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.'
~ Jack E. Leonard
'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.'
~ Robert Redford
'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.'
~ Thomas Brackett Reed
'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.'
~ Charles, Count Talleyrand
'He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.'
~ Forrest Tucker
'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?'
~ Mark Twain
'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.'
~ Mae West
'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.'
~ Oscar Wilde
'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.'
~ Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.'
~ Billy Wilder
'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.'
~ Groucho Marx
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(BD)b
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"I remember when 'harass' was two words."
My brother, Matthew.
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:)db very good! More on the way?
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One of many I enjoy is: "Please excuse me for talking while you were interrupting me"
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"One of many I enjoy is: "Please excuse me for talking while you were interrupting me"
~~(:)~~ Love that one also!!!! Need more! Need more! ~D~ good to have humor first thing in the morning!
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"He's so skinny he has to run around in the shower to get wet."
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"Could you please stop talking, you're blocking my view."