Answering Spam...Please add yours

[misfitguy]

I received this from a spammer:

February 7th, 2007 

484-098-244 (02:34 PM) :
Hello   HELP please  VERY MUCH YOU I ASK, my mum requires heavy operation, but I would not have means for operation what to rescue to her a life, list please 0.10 cents on e-gold 3510777, and the GOD will help YOU...
Beforehand it is very grateful, thanks huge!!!   

My answer:    

Mick (02:38 PM) :
I'm going to give some sound advice.  Let the old crone die.  What is she good for?  Can she cook....I hear not a lick.  Since she quit selling her ass, she hasn't had a good job.  Let her go.  She's not useful anymore.  Sell her body to a dog food factory.  Hold out and get all you can for her.  If she has any good jewelry or gold teeth, let me know.  I could be interested in them.


                                                                                                  [/hr]

Sassafras received this spammers plea:

February 9th, 2007

lguthuco (09:46 PM) :
Hello!  My name is Aleksandr,  HELP please  VERY MUCH YOU I ASK, my mum requires heavy operation, but I would not have means for operation what to rescue to her a life, list please 0.10 cents on e-gold 3510777, and the GOD will help YOU...
Beforehand it is very grateful, thanks huge !!!   

My response:

Sassafras (09:26 AM) :
Bummer!  I don't think a dime is going to help.  Give me your address and I can send you a pistol.  You can shoot the ol' bag and then shoot yourself.  Because truely it seems you have no hope.  I suggest this is better then a knife, though if you would prefer one, I could send that as well.  Knives are sooooo messy.  Yesh!!!!!  By the way, if you decide not to take this course, I would suggest asking at least for a $0.25.  It's more believable.


Mick

[misfitguy]

I belong to a Yahoo Group called Michigan Bigfoot Investigators.  The Owner/Moderator seems to have disappeared and spammers have taken over.  First it seems so stupid because if only the spammers are using the site, what is the point of posting?  Anyway, I decided to fight back with my answers.  The first one shows my frustration.  After that, I start to have fun.

Mick


Wed Jan 31, 2007

--- In michiganbigfootinvestigators@yahoogroups.com, "steelie-
mcmath225@..." <steelie-mcmath225@...> wrote:

I used to think that if it seemed to good to be true it probably was,
that was until i found this company http://nipi.info/gzi they gave
me the best deal on my home ever! have a look you wont be
dissapointed!


I wrote:

You spamming piece of shit. Simply because the moderator seems to have
disappeared doesn't mean that a low life spammer should take it over.
What a show of ignorance. What's wrong. Get tired of porn with little
boys, you low life bottom dweller?



Sun Feb 4, 2007

steelie-mcmath225 wrote:

well ive been busy the last few weeks moving into my brand new house...i never
thought i would get such a good deal until i found
http://nevergi.info/ha . they refied my old house and gave me the money
to buy another one

I wrote:

Warning.....Steelie-mcmath225 I heard is a pervert. I think it is true
and I heard that they sit at their computer terminal naked drinking
Kool-Aid, rubbing peanut butter over their private parts.



Fri Feb 9, 2007

steelie-mcmath225 wrote:

Information herein may contain forward looking statements within
the meaning of Section 27A of the Securities Act of 1933 and Section 21B of
the SEC Act of 1934. Statements that involve discussions with respect to
projections of future events. Don't rely on them. This company doesn't report.
Past performance isn't indicative of future results. We received 300,000 free
trading shares and $1,000 from a third party, not an officer, director
or affiliate. We have sold 186,000 shares and purchased 16,000 shares in the
market....and YADAYADAYADA like who cares.

I wrote:

Don't respond to this person. He is a known child molester. He will
sneak up on your home in the dark of night and steal your children.
He may also molest your dog, though, I understand, he prefers
goldfish.

BEWARE....BEWARE....BEWARE


Wed Feb 14, 2007

lily-gannaway394 wrote:

Took me just 2 weeks to get my accredited Masters in this course. Already in
line for an interview on monday to hopefully get a better position within the
place I work at. Didn't even have to buy and books, go to any classes, or take
any exams...

I wrote:

Warning, Jerry is a predator....Re: Jerry


If you go to the CIA website, you will see where Jerry is being sought
for sodomy of goats in his home town. They advise that he has left his
home area, under the guise of being a college graduate, and is now
actively pursuing a campaign of goat predation, maybe in your
neighborhood. He is also known to eat SPAM, give SPAM to other people,
trying to disguise it as a T-Bone Steak, and offer SPAM to unsuspecting
goat owners. DO NOT LET THIS MAN ENTER YOUR FARM UNLESS HE IS
ESCORTED. CHECK HIS POCKETS FOR HIDDEN SPAM. He is ruthless and will
go to great ends to sneak up on one of your goats with his intentions
in hand and sodomize it. He is also known to hang around Republican
Party gatherings and attend U of M football games. This man is a
SPAMMER.



Fri Feb 16, 2007

lily-gannaway394

damn! these guys just fixed up my current house loan, consolidated all the old
ones, and im saving 600 bucks a month!! http://nipi.info/br

I wrote:

Jerry also goes by lily


Jerry is not only a perverted goat sodomizer, he also likes to dress up
like a girl and calls himself Lily. Be careful, people. When Jerry
dresses up, he dresses up. Saving 600 bucks a month? Hah!!!! He/she
pays $600 to White Slavers for pictures of naked/shaved goats. He/she
will also eat potato salad with his/hers fingers right after picking
his/her nose. Remember, Jerry will use SPAM to try to entice young
goats out of the pasture. SPAM....oh how horrible....SPAM......how
unAmerican......SPAM..........SPAM.........SPAM


Fri Feb 23, 2007

lily-gannaway394 wrote:

1 Hour and 500 bux of Free play! click here http://crazrsplace.com/jc

I wrote:

Lily, lily, lily,

How many times do I have to tell you. Bigfoot investigators do not like
'crazy love". You and Jack like that goat thing and that SPAM thing.
Ugh! Makes my skin crawl. Now we are told that you and Jack are trying
to attract unsuspecting people into trying SPAM. Shudder. When are you
going to post the pictures you have been promising us about you, the
goat and a ketchup bottle. That sounded a little far-fetched, but we
all know you are a fun loving gal. Well, keep your SPAM, marry the Goat
and give ol' Jack the boot. You and SPAM should do well.


Thu Mar 1, 2007

lily-gannaway394 wrote:

Man XL is a dream come true product for Men to enlarge their manhood,
come and check out the before and after pics! http://zomsar.info/aj


I wrote:

Re: Previous post by Lily is SPAM


I write this with a heavy heart. Lily-Gannaway, in the previous post,
suggests that if you click on this link, your "manhood" will grow.
HAH!!! Those that know this sick individual are aware if you follow
her instructions, order the pills, you will turn into a goat that likes
SPAM!!. This poster is a SPAM advocate. SPAM warning. Lily has shown
an unusual interest in goats and SPAM and would like to cause great harm
to the male population of the world. She eats SPAM, rubs SPAM on her
body and, yes, she puts SPAM through her blender with apple juice and
drinks this SPAMpple while looking at naked pictures of goats in
unimaginable positions.

Do not get taken in by Lily. She is a bad person.

[misfitguy]

Sat Mar 3, 2007

lily-gannaway394:

 I am now to be referred to as Dr. Jenkins haha Took me about a
month to get fully accredited, but after ringing these ppl 1-800 666 0781 they
got me setup at an international uni and had me my BA in no time.


I wrote:

OH, Boy. 

Lily has stooped to new lows of SPAM.  She is now posting three at a time.  One concerning the size of your hoohaa, one commenting on your abilities to "be a man" and one that will get you a degree by sending $9.95 to her.  All she is really doing is trying to find out where you live.  She will send her goat loving, SPAM disseminating followers to your house some night and do funny, if not horrible, things to your pets.  Shudder!!!!!!!  The things I could tell you about this sick SPAMMER.  She likes oatmeal, but she doesn't eat it.  She has been known to drink mustard straight from the bottle and then spit it back out through her nose.  She plays with herself (actually tickling her underarms and then smelling her fingers and has a fondness, it seems, for her elbow right after sticking it in her ear.  But most importantly, she loves goats and SPAM.  GOATS AND SPAM, I say.  She is a GOAT LOVER and a sycophant of SPAM.  Do not let her on your property.  Do not answer the phone when she calls.  Do not read her SPAM.

[User Name]

Does "phone spam" count?

If so, i hate that!    Whats worse, is when you hang up in their face, they keep calling back. 

Phone spam will be the reason that i get rid of the phone... Because i don't like being disturbed and i certainly don't want to talk to soliciting idiots when i'm at home!  I get enough of that from work!

[Smokebender]

Don't you just hate all that. Anyway you guys I found these new pain patches and........wait.  Never mind.