MisFiT City Forum
MisFiT Discussions => MisFiT Humor Room => Topic started by: timberwolf on January 30, 2009, 07:07:12 PM
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Spread the Stupidity
Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America.....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ....
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens
our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...
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I used to live in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. I worked for a call center who's major client was AT&T Wireless. I can tell you, Only in America do they believe Nova Scotia is an Island located somewhere between Australia and Hawaii!
Timberwolf, no offense if you are American, but you have not met America like "I" have met America.
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I used to live in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. I worked for a call center who's major client was AT&T Wireless. I can tell you, Only in America do they believe Nova Scotia is an Island located somewhere between Australia and Hawaii!
Timberwolf, no offense if you are American, but you have not met America like "I" have met America.
So you're from the great white north. That's cool. (no pun) Still live north of the line? Tell us more if you will of how you see the USA. Really, I mean I'd like to learn a thing or two on the subject. My family came to Michigan from Uxbridge. That was before Michigan was a state.
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Just north of the line in Vancouver, British Columbia. I have never been to the States, but I have met many Americans through my work. I love the accent of those in the southern States! On the job, I spoke with an elderly lady from New Orleans, LA. She kept me on the line for about an hour just talking about her adventures and excursions, some in Canada. She was very sweet. (Good thing my call wasn't being monitored). About two days after that call, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans. I still wonder about that lady, if she made it through okay. I still hope to get south of the border, but I'm too lazy to get a passport. Pardon my ignorance, but "Uxbridge" sounds a bit foreign to me. Is that in the US or beyond?
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Uxbridge Ontario is the place my family came from long ago. When they first went to what was later named Uxbridge, they were the first, and at the time only white people in the area. Some still live in Uxbridge today.
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Huge province, Ontario. I came to BC by bus. It took three days to get through Ontario! Of course, I've got some beautiful pictures of the scenery going around Lake Superior fr Sault St. Marie to Thunder Bay. 10 days on the bus altogether to get to Vancouver fr Halifax. I travelled here in December and hit six major snow systems along the way. Was stranded for 18 hours on the bus in the middle of nowhere, between Wawa, and Thunder Bay Ontario. Enjoyed every minute of it! Next trip I take across Canada will be on a bicycle! d(BD)b
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That sounds like a wild trip indeed. I was in Wawa 35 years ago. We went north from there to go fishing.
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I used to live in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. I worked for a call center who's major client was AT&T Wireless. I can tell you, Only in America do they believe Nova Scotia is an Island located somewhere between Australia and Hawaii!
Timberwolf, no offense if you are American, but you have not met America like "I" have met America.
Speaking of stupid and AT&T why are they able to bill me in less than a minute, but it takes three months to get a credit. ???
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From my experience, the only sure way to get a credit in less than three months from At&T is to call customer service the day you receive your bill and threaten to switch to sprint! (;D)b
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We were taught and were always reminded that with AT&T the 'customer rules'. I believe all their customers know it! Our daily limit on credits per customer was $250.00. This we gave instantly. Anything above that needed to be approved by the higher authorities which can take, like you say, up to three months.
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d(BD)b ::D too funny. thanks for the giggles! ~D~
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Spread the Stupidity
Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America.....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ....
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens
our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...
Ever wonder why men are born with two heads but can only use one proficiently?
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Which one is that?
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It depends upon the guy. I speak only from my own experience which, over my 44 years, is enough to convince me. If a guy is proficient with one, he sucks with the other. It seems to have been a challenge for men since the days of Adam to find that equal balance in the proficient use of both at the same time. If a choice few do exist, I have yet to meet one.
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So.........which (in the final analysis) do you prefer?
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Perhaps when we Americans manage to devalue our dollar by another 50% (which I expect we will eventually do),
"you'll all come see us".
& (by the way)
Do you know what the penalty for Bigamy is (at least here in America)?
Answer: Two wives
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Chuckle... Glad you have joined us. Sassafras and I will be leaving in the early AM for four days, so if we don't respond to you, it is simply because we aren't here. Happy posting.
Mick