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Midwest Bigfoot


I enjoyed this, so I lifted it and popped it in here.

Greg Sellnow: Keeping armed and alert for Bigfoot

EMILY, Minn. -- I think I heard Bigfoot last weekend. I couldn't see him, couldn't smell him. And thank God I couldn't touch him because from what I've heard, he can devour hunters faster than Pat Williams and Bryant McKinnie devour cheeseburgers.

I didn't know at the time that it was Bigfoot, or Sasquatch, or whatever his name is, that I'd heard while muzzleloader hunting for deer in the Emily State Forest north of Brainerd.

But when I got back to Rochester I read a story about how a guy and his two sons captured a photo of what they believe to be Sasquatch. The image was captured on the trail camera they have set up on land they own not far from Bemidji.

"To us, it's very hard because we lean toward the skeptical type," Tim Kedrowski told the Bemidji Pioneer newspaper after the paper got wind of the sighting.

But now that he's consulted some experts, Kedrowski's almost convinced that the beast recorded on his camera at 7:20 p.m. on Oct. 24 is, in fact, Bigfoot.

The experts he contacted are Don Sherman and Bob Olson, who together comprise the Northern Minnesota Bigfoot Research Team.

The two are not animal biologists. Or wildlife experts. Sherman's a hospital facilities manager, and Olson's an auto body repairman. Because there are no college degrees offered in big hairy monster husbandry, the two are self-taught. But that doesn't mean they don't know what they're talking about.

Sherman says he once captured footage of Bigfoot on a thermal imaging camera, and another time he heard the beast utter a warbling call. I can only assume it was blood curdling. He said his organization has collected Bigfoot sighting reports every year since 2006. This was the fourth one in 2009.

By examining the trail camera image and measuring nearby tree branches, Sherman estimates the creature, which is the spitting image of the Sasquatch in those Jack Link jerky commercials, to be about 7 feet tall.

Had I read this story before venturing into the forest last week, I'm not sure I would have left the cabin.

When I hunt in late November or December I worry about a lot of things.

I worry about getting lost. That's why I carry at least two, and sometimes three, compasses with me in case one of them gets broken or waterlogged.

I worry about freezing to death. That's why I wear five layers of clothing and carry two boxes of matches, a disposable cigarette lighter (I don't smoke), five sets of toe- and hand-warmers and a roll of duct tape, because you just never know.

I worry about starving to death while I am lost and pawing through the snow for dry moss to start a fire with my cigarette lighter, a hand-warmer duct-taped to my nose. This is why I load my pockets with breakfast bars, M&Ms and raisins.

And now that some readers have convinced me that vicious cougars are spreading like rabbits across the Minnesota landscape, I worry about them, too.

I thought about bringing the bear-spray canister I wore on my belt the last time I went horseback riding through Wyoming's grizzly country. But it's past its expiration date, and I wasn't sure if bear spray worked on cougars. Maybe it's like perfume to them?

Anyway, I was sitting in a tree stand about 15 feet up when I heard this loud moaning sound. Sort of a cross between a sheep and a cow with maybe a little goat thrown in. I was at least four miles from the nearest road, and there is no livestock in this neck of the north woods. So, it couldn't have been a common farm animal.

My brother-in-law, who was in a tree a few hundred yards away, tried to convince me it was an artificial doe call he uses to lure lonely, love-struck bucks into the open.

But it was Bigfoot. I just know it.

I'm glad the beast wasn't hungry at the time because weighed down the way I was with flannel shirts and vests and flashlights and compasses and high-energy snacks there is no way I would have been able to outrun him.

I admit that I get bored while I'm sitting in a tree stand for hours, and sometimes I drift off. I'm pretty sure I was dreaming when I saw that 16-point buck that morphed into an elk and then a water buffalo. (I'd been watching hunting shows on Versus.)

But I was wide awake when I heard Bigfoot. I think.



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