Author Topic: When insults were Classy  (Read 9134 times)

Offline misfitguy

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When insults were Classy
« on: January 24, 2008, 02:50:23 PM »
When insults had class!
These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.

    The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:  She said, 'If you were my husband I'd give you poison,' and He said, 'If you were my wife, I'd drink it.'


    A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.'
    'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'


    'He had delusions of adequacy.'
              ~ Walter Kerr


    'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.'
              ~ Winston Churchill


    'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.'
              ~ Winston Churchill


    'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.'
              ~ Clarence Darrow


    'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.'
              ~ William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

    'Poor Faulkner.  Does he really think big emotions come from big words?'
              ~ Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)


    'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.'
              ~ Moses Hadas


    'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.'
              ~ Abraham Lincoln


    'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.'
              ~ Mark Twain


    'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.'
              ~ Oscar Wilde


    'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one.'
              ~ George Bernard Shaw, to Winston Churchill

    'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.'
              ~ Winston Churchill, in response


    'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.'
              ~ Stephen Bishop


    'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.'
              ~ John Bright


    'I've just learned about his illness.  Let's hope it's nothing trivial.'
              ~ Irvin S. Cobb


    'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.'
              ~ Samuel Johnson


    'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.'
              ~ Paul Keating


    'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.'
              ~ Jack E. Leonard


    'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.'
              ~ Robert Redford


    'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.'
              ~ Thomas Brackett Reed


    'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.'
              ~ Charles, Count Talleyrand


    'He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.'
              ~ Forrest Tucker


    'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?'
              ~ Mark Twain


    'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.'
              ~ Mae West


    'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.'
              ~ Oscar Wilde


    'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.'
              ~ Andrew Lang (1844-1912)


    'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.'
              ~ Billy Wilder


    'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.'
              ~ Groucho Marx
« Last Edit: January 24, 2008, 02:52:39 PM by misfitguy »
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Offline User Name

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Re: When insults were Classy
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2008, 01:50:04 PM »
 (BD)b

Offline Truthsayer

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Re: When insults were Classy
« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2009, 04:45:39 PM »
"I remember when 'harass' was two words."

My brother, Matthew.
As God as my witness, I cannot tell a lie.  ;)

Offline 333angel

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Re: When insults were Classy
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2009, 10:13:49 AM »
 :)db  very good! More on the way?
Melody

Offline Smokebender

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Re: When insults were Classy
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2009, 10:59:44 PM »
One of many I enjoy is: "Please excuse me for talking while you were interrupting me"
The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves!
We are the ones we've been waiting for.
A Hopi elder speaks.

http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/michiganbigfootgroup/  Just click it now! Then get back here right away or I'm tellin Mom.

Offline 333angel

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Re: When insults were Classy
« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2009, 10:21:47 AM »
"One of many I enjoy is: "Please excuse me for talking while you were interrupting me"
 ~~(:)~~  Love that one also!!!!  Need more! Need more!  ~D~  good to have humor first thing in the morning!
Melody

Offline Truthsayer

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Re: When insults were Classy
« Reply #6 on: June 01, 2009, 11:26:21 AM »
"He's so skinny he has to run around in the shower to get wet."
As God as my witness, I cannot tell a lie.  ;)

Offline Truthsayer

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Re: When insults were Classy
« Reply #7 on: June 01, 2009, 11:33:04 AM »
"Could you please stop talking, you're blocking my view."
As God as my witness, I cannot tell a lie.  ;)