Author Topic: Ponderisms  (Read 6943 times)

Offline 333angel

  • Purple Maple Syruple
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  • Join Date: Jun 2007
  • Posts: 25
Ponderisms
« on: June 17, 2009, 06:00:07 PM »
PONDERISMS   


·         I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.   

·      There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

·      Life is sexually transmitted.   

·      Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

·      The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

·      Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

·      Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about   
           seeing UFOs like they used to?   

·      Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

·      All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

·      In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.  Now the world is weird and   
          people take Prozac to make it normal.

·      How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?   

·      Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and                           
            drink whatever comes out?'


·      If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

·      Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

·      If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

·      If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?   

·      Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

·      Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

·      Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

·      Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?
Melody

Offline Truthsayer

  • Going Green
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  • Join Date: Jan 2009
  • Posts: 438
Re: Ponderisms
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2009, 01:13:13 PM »
 ~~(:)~~ ~~(:)~~ ~~(:)~~ ~~(:)~~!

As God as my witness, I cannot tell a lie.  ;)

 

sir-individual